THE FISCHER FAMILY

Tidbits of Talk {Volume 9}

2012-03-09T07:39:00.002-06:00

Happy Sunny Friday! I skipped last Friday because life just got in the way. Seriously, in a good way and a bad way. I will write more about it next week but let's just say this week has been good..

~I had dinner and drinks with two of best friends in the world and their husbands last Saturday night. Seriously, even though we had to leave to relieve our babysitter at 11, being with them for just a few short hours is good for my soul.

~My sister in law started a new job this week at Starbucks. No, she is not a barista. She is actually designing the interiors of my favorite coffee shop in the world. How awesome is that?

~I watched Brady play at birthday party last Sunday and realized how independent he is becoming. He took off running the minute we got to Jump Zone (aka Germ Zone). He made sure he kept me in eye sight but for the most part he spent a lot of time with his “friends”. Does this mean he is growing up?

~Are you on Draw Something? Holy cow is it addicting. Seriously addicting. My user name is KristiFischer

~March has been wild and it is not even half over. Birthday parties, a baby shower, a bridal shower, two weddings, a rehearsal dinner, and a St. Patrick’s Day party. Whew…it’s a lot. But you know what? We are a better family busy. And the other plus in all of this? We will see my parents 4 week in a row. #Winning

~ Have you had Lean Cuisine Steamer meals? They are so good. And healthy. And easy to make. That makes life a bit easier.

The weather is supposed to be amazing and I am looking forward to weekend filled with family, fun and sunshine! Happy Friday Friends.

Cate- Six Months

2012-03-05T11:35:00.005-06:00

How can it be that she is six months?

It seems like yesterday she entered this world on that steamy September day and now we are celebrating her half birthday.

How can it be that her big, blue, button eyes twinkle when her daddy or I walk in the room?
I watch her as she is methodical with her eyes, darting and tracking us with our every move. I make eye contact with her, she gets so excited, burying her face in her daddy's shoulder and smiling to let me know she sees me.

How can it be that she already has a tooth on the bottom? The drool is everywhere all the evidence we need to tell us she is getting big.

How can it be that when I look at her I see her brother? There is no doubt they are siblings. While mighty different in mannerisms, they are connected. From the chubby cheeks to the long lashes, they clearly belong to us.

How can it be that it took me two kids to stop and enjoy the small things ?
How can it be that her baby feet and a reflection in the mirror remind me how simple life really is?
And can it be that when I look at her, I see me, my family, the one that Glenn and I created, and swell with love.

11, or 12 or maybe 13

2012-02-29T13:19:00.002-06:00

This has taken me 11, no 12, maybe 13 days since Brandy first tagged me but hopefully she’ll forgive me! Brandy wanted to know 11 random things about me and had me answer 11 questions and I did just that. And then, I tagged some people I wanted to answer...just hope they do so I don't look like a fool!

The Rules

Post these rules
You must post 11 random things about yourself
Answer the questions set for you in the post you were tagged in
Create 11 new questions for your tagees to answer
Tag them on Twitter, Facebook or your blog

Random Thoughts About Me

I hate socks. I will avoid wearing socks at any expense. I only wear them with my running shoes or riding boots. Any other time, I wear flats, Uggs, Hunter boots etc… I am sockless.
I could eat eggs daily. If my husband gets take out or I am looking for something to eat, I usually make eggs. Scrambled, over easy or an egg sandwich with cheese- doesn't matter as long as it is eggs.
I am an organizational freak but a queen of clutter. Ponder that one.
I have never seen Star Wars. I have no interest and my husband considers this un-American.
I buy a 2 liter of raspberry ginger ale each week at the grocery store and there is never any left by Friday. This week it was gone by Tuesday.
My husband and two of his good friends from the south suburbs of Chicago married girls from my hometown in Central Illinois. The other two guys married two best friends. Small world right?
I am a buy and return shopper. I buy a lot of things, take them home, try them on again and then return the things I don’t want.
I call my mama each morning on my way to work and on my way home.
I have always wanted blue eyes and still sorta do.
I will not buy generic food. I just can’t do it. I am a brand only girl.
I love cinnamon gum/mints and I hate anything peppermint

Brandy's Questions for Me

Where do you buy most of your clothes?

Most of my clothes come from JCrew, Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Anthropologie, Von Maur and Nordstorms. I have a few things from Target, Loft, and Gap but JCrew is my first choice

What is your favorite drink recipe?

Nothing because I am a beer girl all the way. Coors Light is my choice of beers but I am not picky as long as it is beer.

Describe your most memorable high school experience.

It has be when my mama handed me my high school diploma.

Is there a song that you always have to sing aloud every time?

To be honest there are two. I sing the Star Spangled Banner loudly every time I hear it on our country music station at noon each day. I also sing Livin on A Prayer with Bon Jovi as loud as I can each time it comes on...brings me back to the early days of dating my husband and going to weddings.

Do you prefer beach or mountains and why?

9 days out of 10 the beach. I love the warm sun and the sound of water as I relax. I dig the mountains and love to ski but my choice is always a beach because I live in the Windy City and let’s be honest, the weather is typically cold, rainy and windy so I crave the warm sunshine, sand and water.

Do you still hang out with any of your childhood friends?

Hmmm… on occasion. I am not in constant contact with them, but our parents are all still best friends so I know their doings and we do see each other once in a while when we are all home. My oldest friend that I still am in constant contact with is my friend, Watty. We met when we were 12 on a softball diamond and still hang out (drink together) twenty years later.

Coco Pebbles or Coco Krispies?

Neither because I don’t eat cereal. Yes, you read that right. I do not eat cereal ever. I just didn’t grow up eating it and have no interest in starting now.

If you could meet one blogger (besides me of course), who would it be?

Since, I have got to meet you over skype I guess I will go to my second choice which is Kelle Hampton from Enjoying the Small Things. Have you read her? Girlfriend has mad writing skills and her outlook on life is one that I am envious of and would love to gain some insight on. If I could meet a couple other it would be Jess from Straight Talk Jess and Krista from Not Mommy of the Year but I would insist it be over drinks!

If you were deserted on an island and could only have 3 beauty items, what would they be (not basic hygiene)?

Estee Lauder Toner Perfectly Clean Skin Toner, toenail polish (OPI Friar, Friar Pants on Fire), and Australian Gold’s After Sun Moisturizer.

What is your favorite fancy coffee choice?

I am a loyal, daily drinker of Starbucks. I don’t do coffee… but a venti chai is how I start my morning each and every day and if I don’t get one, things never seem to go well.

When did you get your first cell phone?

I got my first phone in August 2001 right before I entered the working world and graduated from college. God, I am old.

11 Questions for Other People

Is it soda or pop? And what is your favorite?
What is your go to outfit when you need one?
Tell me what you are reading and why?
Name a reality TV show you would like to go on?
Tell me the best blog you read that you think I should start reading.
If you had to move out of your current state where would you go?
Tell me one rule you had growing up that you will never impose on your own kids.
What is one thing you could not live without? (It can’t be a person)
What’s the first thing you do in the morning?
What would your final meal consist of?
If you had to pick a song as the “soundtrack of your life what would it be?”

Tagging

Julie at Back To Basics Blog @basicallyjulie

Jess at Straight Talk Jess @jessesco

Krista at Not Mommy of the Year @notmommyofyear

Joanna at Growing Up in Oz @Raising Madison

Suzanne at Bebehblog @bebehblog

Katie at Sluiter Nation @ksluiter

Tidbits of Talk {Volume 7}

2012-02-24T18:57:00.002-06:00

Tidbits of Talk

So this is late but with really good reason. This week has been full of suck. But I have made a promise to myself that I will find a good for every bad in this post.

~Cate has RSV. My poor girl is really really sick and there is nothing we can do to help her. We take her to the pediatrician, they stick a tube up her nose and use a motor powered suction to get the snot out of her. Every time she coughs, Glenn and I both feel our hearts break.

~I have gotten to spend some real quality time with my girl this week and my boy. Two sick kids is not a lot of fun, but there has been lots of cuddling, requests for hugs and time on the couch. It has been hard to miss work, but home is where I needed to be this week.

~Our house has had a lot of showings. I am just hoping that one buyer comes through and says that this is their house and we can move.

~Every time we have a showing we have to clean. I find myself wanting to purge, pinning my "dream" stuff and hopeful for our next house that becomes our home.

~I needed a cup of Starbucks bad this morning. I couldn’t figure out how to do it with one FAST 2.5 year old, a baby in a carrier, both sick, no double stroller and snow on the ground. So, I went to Target purely for Starbucks and came home with a $32 Mack Truck from Cars2. Sucker.

~I took two showers today. I did one just to steam Cate's nose. Two showers in one day is a luxury with two kids. Two showers uninterrupted, minus the baby in the chair in the bathroom, amazing.

This is all I have… I am tired, hungry, need to pump and bed is calling my name. Cate will be calling mine sooner than I would like.

Happy Friday! Man, am I glad this week is over.

A Conversation with Brady

2012-02-23T08:00:00.000-06:00

Brady, can we play together with your stamps?

Pease mama.

Which stamp should we use first?

Wambulance mama.

No, buddy that is a fire engine.

Which color do you want to use? Red or blue?

Blllluuuuueee.

I do it. I do it MAMA.

Okay buddy. You do it. You put the stamp on the pad and then the press it on the paper.

Mama do?

You want mama to do it buddy?

Yes, pease .

Which stamp should I use?

Dis one.

The boat?

Shit.

No buddy, it’s a ship.

Shit.

No Brady, it’s a ship.

Shit.

No, buddy it’s a boat.

Boat.

Yep, that’s a boat.

God, I love this kid.

Adult Time- Admitting He Is Right

2012-02-20T19:32:00.003-06:00

Even before I was married or had kids, I was an introvert in a lot of ways. I always chose to stay home on a Saturday night than go out. If I did or do go out, dinner and wine was and still is a perfect weekend night. I like going to bed early, getting a good night’s sleep and then the feeling of waking up early and having a productive day. Or maybe it’s my job, but I like being alone on the weekends.

Don’t get me wrong, I like a night out just like anyone does but it is just not something, I crave or need frequently.

Since I’ve had kids, well I think I am even more inclined to stay home. It doesn’t help that Cate still isn’t sleeping through the night or that Brady is waking up super early but the reality is that I do not mind staying home. I like being at home with my kids and wearing my pajamas on a Saturday night and relaxing on the couch.

Insert President’s Day weekend. It is a weekend in February that for the past eight years my husband’s friends have been going away together as a group. Before we had kids we went twice with the group. (The years before that we were not dating.) Both weekends were great. They involved lots of beer, late night games of left, right center, carefree days spent shopping on the streets of Lake Geneva or Galena and sleeping in.

Then, I missed a few years, quite a few actually. February 2009, I was not only newly pregnant (like I found out the Monday before) but I stayed home to bury a close colleague who had passed away that week. February 2010, I was just back to work after having Brady who was just shy of four months. I wasn’t ready to leave him, was still nursing, and exhausted. February 2011, I was newly pregnant with Cate and spent the two days prior to the trip so sick that going was not option.

So, 2012 rolled around. I vowed I would go. I wanted to go. I told Glenn I thought I could only go for a night but I wanted to rejoin the group. What I didn’t know was that Cate wouldn’t be sleeping through the night, Brady would be having massive sleeping issues and I was just overwhelmed. I flip flopped, changed my mind, couldn’t make a decision and as of Friday was still not sure what I was going to. Stay or go. I am an over-analyzer. I think about everything so much that sometimes, my husband is right, I take all the fun out of it before it even happens.

Finally, on Friday night as I was cooking party mix and making a veggie tray I decided I was going. Why not? I knew I needed some adult time. I felt like I should stay home with my kids. I knew I needed some time with my husband…and his 13 closest friends.

And you know what, it was great. Every minute was great. From the Coors Light at noon, to Kilwin’s ice cream at three, to the games of left, right, center at night to the fruit and bagels Sunday morning it felt good to get away.

Did I miss my kids? No question about it. Was it hard being gone? Yes but the hardest part was the time leading up to it. Once I decided to go I was fine. Were my kids well taken care of? Yep. And you know what, I am better for it. I needed to go. And I appreciate my husband pushing me to go.

Adult time is good for every parent. Next time I question it I will remember President’s Weekend 2012! See you next year!

Tidbits of Talk {Volume 6}

2012-02-17T06:00:00.000-06:00

Tidbits of Talk

I usually write this later in the week but I keep forgetting about things that happen earlier in the week so I started this week’s post on Sunday. But, I need to keep this short and sweet because time has not been my friend this week.

~My parents were here for the weekend. We always have so much fun when they are up here and Brady just loves to play with Mimi and Pawpaw. My ma makes these iced sugar cookies that are to die for and Brady begs to eat them. We get so spoiled when they are up here and sad when they leave.

~I love laundry. Really, I do love to laundry. Mostly because I love to fold clothes perfectly and organize the stacks of t-shirts in Glenn’s closet but lately my favorite part is folding my kids’ clothes because Glenn and I do it together. Something so simple, I fold clothes and he matches the socks gives a few minutes together on the couch and I look forward to it every Sunday night. I actually save that load just so that we can do it together.

~ Have you ever had the Whole Foods brand tortilla chips? If not, you are missing out. They are pricey, almost $6.00 a bag but worth every penny.

~ I keep trying recipes on Pinterest. Some are complete fails and others are okay. I am going to try to get a post about food but let’s just say I’m leery of some things on Pinterest.

~ I got an awesome email from a parent tonight who reminded me why I do what I do.

~I am finally drinking the diapers.com kool-aid. Not sure I am sold, purely because of the price, but the boxes make great ramps for Brady’s cars when they are emptied and the shipment on my door step when I come home from work lets me take a sigh of relief.

Happy Friday Friends!

My Valentine

2012-02-14T07:00:00.001-06:00

To My Valentine,

That first Valentine’s we had only met two nights earlier. You sent me a text on February 14^th wishing me a Happy Valentine’s Day…and I, well I was trying to avoid getting in a relationship. So, I stalled and then you called again, and then the Friday after Valentine’s Day we shared our first of many dates at Club Lucky. I wore red if you remember…

And here we are, eight Valentine’s Day later.

There will probably be a text about the kids, dinner, and the books for the business not about Valentine’s Day.And that's okay.

This is what I know.

I love you more.

I rely on you more.

I adore the crazy life we live. (Can you say three houses, two kids, a new business and new car in five years?)

I stare in amazement at how great of a dad you are to the two best things that happened to me.

You are today and will always be my valentine.

I love you,

Tidbits of Talk {Volume 5}

2012-02-10T12:52:00.002-06:00

Tidbits of Talk

Happy Friday! This week has been long and emotional full of highs and lows. And to say I am ready for the weekend is an understatement.

~My mama will be here tomorrow. The visit is coming at the perfect time and I just ready to be in her presence. I am calmer, stronger and happier. What is it about a mama that makes her daughter better when they are together? I am hoping to take her out on a date Saturday night once Cate is in bed. Pizza, wine and my mama? Yes, please.

~ My principal, one of the most powerful, graceful and well respected people at in my district and in the school community died on Saturday after a long, hard battle with breast cancer. We celebrated her on Wednesday and since then I keep reminding myself that she smiled in the tensest situations and reminded each of us no matter what the moment was that “it is all about the relationships”. I will never be as powerful, as respected, or as graceful as her as she was, but I will remember that it is “all about the relationships”.

~These are the days at school when I wonder how on earth I am surviving. I mean I am sweating daily because the to do list is so long, the amount of kids in my office for one reason or another is longer and I am in a meeting every period of the day I am not teaching. I even had to get a sub for one period I teach this week. Cray cray…

~Our sleeping issues were multiplying and by mid-week and Glenn and I were at our wit’s end. So, we started talking to Brady about one of his favorite things and book…the moon. I told him when the moon is out he needs to be in his bed. I am happy to report that when we ask him what is in the sky at bedtime, he tells us the moon. And then we ask where he should be and he says in my bed. He stayed there throughout the night for the past two nights. I am not holding my breath but it is a start. And we give him an M&M in the morning as a reward. Good ole’ Weissbluth saves us again!

~I keep checking online for last minute trip deals for my spring break. I am crazy I know. I am crazy because traveling with two kids would be nuts and maybe not even worth it. But, I hate staying here on spring break.

~Finally, our house is on the market. Yep, first week and we have had quite a few showings. Hoping St. Joseph does his thing. Gonna bury him on Saturday but hoping we may not even need to. I would be happy to be homeless sooner than later. Anyone want an awesome house in Roscoe Village?

Enjoy the weekend! Ours will be filled with family, food, and fun!

An Open Letter to my Fellow Daycare Parents

2012-02-08T09:00:00.000-06:00

Today, I am being featured over on the Liberating Working Moms website. Have you heard about it? It's a place where all mamas can unite but working mom's talk about the good, the bad and the ugly. This post is something I have wanted to write for a long time and it feels good to put it down on paper.

Dear Daycare Parents,

Let’s talk about daycare etiquette. Specifically, let’s talk about sick kid etiquette.

And you shouldn’t be proud to tell the rest of us dropping our kids off that your kid’s fever was 104 the day before. Because that means that you aren’t following the rules. And my kid suffers.

Wanna read more? Hope on over to Liberating Working Moms website! Enjoy!

Cate {5 Months}

2012-02-07T06:00:00.001-06:00

I have been taunting {his words not mine} my husband lately. I keep telling him that I am not sure I think our family is complete. He is 100% sure that it is complete. Maybe it is because I feel like I was robbed of the first months with Cate because all she did was cry and I want a do over. But with each weekend that signifies another week gone, I think I realize that we are complete. Cate, five months later, is different. She is content.

She is happy baby. Truly one of those babies when you talk to her she smiles. When we wake her up each morning, she stretches her long legs and breaks out a huge smile. When you blow raspberries on her belly she giggles. Not that deep belly laugh like her brother had, but this sweet giggle that can only come from my sweet girl. Maybe it is because she is in daycare so the attention is limited, but if you make eye contact with her she smiles, gets so excited, and then kicks her leg with a force that is to be reckoned with.

She has discovered her toes and her socks rarely stay on her feet. Sometimes she will suck on her sock. But usually it starts with the chaotic kicking that makes her socks slip off. The choice is gone and she sucks, with vigor, on her toes. Frankly, I think both are cute but way gross.

Five months later Cate’s hands are still her own worst enemy. She swats like a martial arts fighter knocing bottles out of her mouth and usually cracking us one on our face at some point. Her little fingers pinch items including Glenn’s chest hair, my neck skin and Brady’s hair.

Sleeping…sigh. I just don’t get her. One night we have a great night the next is horrific. Brady is not helping but I still. I really feel like she should make it more than 9 hours. I know, I know, she is still small but I think she could. I am trying to decide if we should sleep train her or wait.

Brady was big, content to be in a swing and not held. Cate, well she is a snuggle bug. She just wants to be in our arms. She nuzzles her face to your skin. She will find any piece of skin that isn’t covered in clothes and snuggle. She holds on to our shoulders or arms with a strength that surprises me every single day. And when she is tired, she will bury her face and hands in our shoulder letting us know it is time.

Have I told you lately how much I love this little girl?

Tidbits of Talk {Volume 4}

2012-02-03T06:00:00.002-06:00

Whew! Friday did not come fast enough this week. Every time I thought I dug out from the pile of papers on my desk, the dishes in my sink or the laundry in the bins, more appeared. I am ready for the weekend.

~I have a new prep this semester and it is good for me. I have truly engaged 100% in being a teacher again because I have to. I have to write new lesson plans daily, can’t rely on old stuff and find myself wanted to do more, be better prepared and read for class. It doesn’t hurt that every kid in my Business Law class is excited, intelligent and has a passion for the content. It’s reminded me why I love teaching.

~I am so ready for spring and the clothes that come with it. I am dying to have a pair of white skinny jeans, some colored denim and some sort of a color block dress. And burlap Toms…yes please.

~My car is filthy. It drives me crazy. Since I schlep my kids to and from school daily, there are graham crackers, sippy cups, wrappers and dirt on every surface of my car. But yet I have the same mentality about the filth as I do about toys. Why clean it up when it is just going to get dirty again. I guess this is why people tell you not to drive a nice car with young kids.

~I am so over my kids’ daycare right now. Don’t get me wrong, the people who take care of my babies I am eternally grateful for. The parents, who send their kids to school blatantly sick, like sick with STREP THROAT, are on my list. It is taking every ounce of restraint not to confront one in particular.

~ I went to the most EFFICIENT bridal shower EVER last weekend. It was for one of my dear friends, who I am bridesmaid for in March, and while 60+ people attended, the gift opening was done in under an hour. How is that for time management? Did I mention how good it was to see my KD girls?

~I am on a mission tonight to sit down with my planner and husband for next week and carve out some time for me to get to the gym. I am ending this week frustrated once again that I have no “me time” so I am going to make some.

~Our house goes on the market next week. I am terrified and ecstatic. Mostly, I am consumed with where do we go? I feel like this the biggest decision in my life to date because it will determine where my kids go to school. And each day I lean a different way. I just keep hoping the picture becomes clear about where we should live.

~I have a date with my husband Saturday night.

Happy Weekend Friends! What are you up to?

Tidbits of Talk {Volume 3}

2012-01-27T13:11:00.001-06:00

So, we have made it through another week. And this week started off so calm but yet we are here at the end of the week where papers have piled up, laundry needs to be done, and groceries need to be purchased.

~Cate was being weird to start the week. Or maybe just different...lord knows she is the polar opposite of Brady. She was pretty much on a hunger strike. Literally. The girl was drinking maybe 1 or 2 ounces at each feeding. She was happy for the most part but wouldn’t eat. This is not helping my chances of her sleeping through the night ever.

~I have fallen in love with our basement door. Weird right? But it has access to our garage, our garbage cans (not that I would know much about that) and all through a door off a room that is dirty. Where wet shoes don’t matter and it’s easy to walk right in.

~I went three days without caffeine. Three days specifically without Starbucks. Not sure how it happened but it did and I survived. All though, I don’t want to go through it again.

~ We are having pictures of our house taken to get in on the MLS. I have found more matchbox cars; trucks and band aids than I never knew existed. Crazy how much stuff kids accumulate! I see a purge session coming.

~ My husband’s calendar is killing me. I am trying to figure out how to convince him that an electronic calendar is for the best. He keeps a paper calendar people. It is killing me. I want to share a calendar with him. With two jobs, two kids, appointments, plans etc…we need to be able to see one other’s calendar. Sure I appreciate the phone calls, but it would be so much easier to just look online. How can I convince him google calendar and Outlook calendar are his friends?

~ Wedding and baby mania begin in our house this weekend. I am looking forward to celebrating a dear friend at her shower this weekend. It is at Biaggi’s which is one my favorites. I am realizing I forget how to dress for these things etc…

Happy Friday Friends!

Hug Your Babies Harder

2012-01-26T09:12:00.002-06:00

I was going about my routine Monday night.

Give Cate reflux medicine.

Warm up the bottle.

Slow dance with Cate and singing in her ears to distract her as we wait.

The bottle was warm.

Grab phone and head up to the glider.

I had two text messages.

Instinctively, I knew.

This baby’s battle was over.

She was gone.

The tears started and didn’t stop.

Deep, sobbing, guttural tears that would not relent.

Leaving her parents, a brother and army of people on this earth with broken hearts.

No parent should have to bury a child.

And Blake and Brooke are good people.

Good to the core.

People you want to be friends with.

So, hug your babies tonight and every night for that matter.

Forgot about the whining, the crying, the negotiating, the tears, and exhaustion.

Be grateful you have one to hug.

From Baby to Boy

2012-01-22T20:15:00.000-06:00

He has shed every ounce of being a baby and is a boy.

This age of 27 months. It’s magical. It’s fabulous. It’s exasperating. It full of emotions that I forget we are capable of as humans. Yet it is raw, real, unedited and unforgettable.

Me: Have I told you today I love you?

Brady: I wuv you too.

Glenn: I love you buddy.

Brady: I wuv you daddy…Cate too

He runs with a speed that scares me daily as he bobs and weaves around our tv, past our dining room table, over the threshold to the kitchen where he halts near the edge of the counter top by our back door while his Buzz Lightyear wings stay affixed to his body. There are bruises on his legs and arms proving the pure energy he puts in to simple things like running through our house.

And while he is rough, wild and full of energy. He gets it. He understands emotion. Sure he’s got a lot of emotion. But he gets the true meaning of emotion specifically empathy and that makes my heart full.

Brady: Mama otay? (As Cate wails in the background.)

Me: I’m okay buddy. Cate’s sad but she’s just hungry.

He walks over to her. He leans down. Rubs her head and kisses it with full sound effects as he asks her is she’s okay.

Me: She’s okay buddy. She is just hungry.

Brady: No cry Cate. Milk. Cate eat milk. She sad mama.

It's these little things make me smile.

The way his thick coarse hair, inherited from his dad, sticks up five different ways each morning when he wakes.

The dead sprint towards me when I appear at the door of his daycare room, his squeal of mommy with arms and open ready to greet me with a hug.

The rosy cheeks that let us know his poor little body is fighting yet another virus from daycare.

The way I catch him talking to her, showing her that Sophie will be her best friend.

The way he lays his head softly on Glenn’s shoulder each night as he heads to bed. He could walk up the stairs himself but insists on being carried and just for a moment I think he is a baby again.

Tidbits of Talk {Volume 2}

2012-01-18T15:00:00.002-06:00

Happy Wednesday! Talk about last minute on Wednesday! I am not sure where today went to be honest. I had every intention of getting a long post about Brady up on Monday but it did not happen. Maybe tomorrow I will get it up. But until then, enjoy some small tidbits from this week.

~Brady has pink eye in BOTH eyes right now. It started off with some goop and a trip to the pediatrician confirmed it. The humor is in the medicine- which is eye drops. They go in both eyes of my 2 year old three times a day. Yes, it is like taming a wild beast trying to get them in. We have tried a lot of different things. Our latest attempt was to let him “put the drops” in our eyes too! Complete with holding us down and telling us it is okay. It adds five minutes to our morning. We both hurry to lie flat on the couch and let him to do this to us so we can leave. It is comical and ridiculous but it works.

~I went to the gym yesterday to work out…and I got a solid work out done. I was dripping in sweat and Tuesday morning my chest and arms ached. Good start to the week and leaves me wanting even more gym time.

~My ma is all about black skinny jeans. I was completely opposed to them. It happens. I have worn them twice and I am now sold. They have a band at the top like maternity jeans (which makes it totally worth it) and they dress anything up. At age 32, I swear she still does a better job shopping for me than I do for myself.

~I rarely listen to the radio anymore. The Little Einsteins or Toy Story seems to dominate my car rides but there are two songs I can’t stop singing. Have you heard “I’m Gonna Love You Through It” by Martina McBride or “If I Die Young” by The Band Perry? I love both of them and I they will be the first thing I download to my new Nano.

~Speaking of my new Nano…my iPod Nano was recalled. It was a very quiet recall, understandably so. All I have to do is send my Nano in and Apple will send me a new one. This is like Christmas in January for me and helping persuade me even more to get an iPhone. New nano, new ipad, and now I just need the iMac and iPhone.

How is the week? Care to share any tidbits?

Tidbits of Talk {Volume 1}

2012-01-11T08:24:00.005-06:00

Happy Wednesday! Sometimes when I write I realize I don't have enough to write an entire blog post on something but I still feel compelled to "put things out there". So begins what I am hoping is a weekly series called Tidbits of Talk.

~ I have worked last the last two nights and it is taking a toll on me. Between getting up with Cate (still, yes, I know, it’s BRUTAL), getting up extra early to pump and being “on” from 5am to 9pm, my body is really weary. I can feel it in between my shoulders and see it in my eyes. There is a silver lining…this is actually one of those times I appreciate the daycare at my high school. I stayed a little later yesterday morning and snuggled Cate then I stopped by while Brady was on the playground for one more kiss. Did it make my morning more chaotic with fewer minutes to spare? Yes. Was it worth it? 100%

~ I was starting to think things were getting easier. But really, they aren’t. I keep thinking we are adjusting and then we have a rough morning, terse words, tears, or a late start and I spend the minutes in the car wondering if and when life will ever get easier. I question if a move will really solve some of these things. There is just no down time. Seriously, the only time I sit down is when I am pumping or feeding Cate. Otherwise, I am washing bottles, making bottles, getting dinner ready, and laying out clothes, washing clothes or packing bags. There is no time for us, me or him and it continues to take its toll. It is life right now but it doesn’t mean I have to like it.

~ The weather has been unseasonably warm for Chicago. We are talking highs in the 50’s this week. I am itching, craving, begging and hoping my running shoes will somehow end up on my feet so I can get moving. Yet tomorrow snow is in the forecast … major snow. Cue the insanity of commuting with two kids. But as I drive, I am going to remember the warm temperatures of today and the excitement bubbling inside of me to bust out the Bob Revolution, my running shoes and my favorite girl once spring hits Chicago in a few months for those daily jogs I crave.

~We have 8 wedding in 2012. I really thought we were past the “phase” of rocking out to Bon Jovi on the dance floor at a reception hall with a Coors Light in hand but clearly we aren’t. But you know what? I am looking forward to it and ready to buy some new party dresses.

~ I love being organized but with that being said I feel like I actually have too much technology right now and my paper planner has left me feeling lost. I can’t decide where I want to menu plan, keep family info, write the grocery list etc…so I am left with one thing on my ipad, one thing in my MomAgenda and everything else in my head. Sigh…

~ I went to church on Christmas Eve and this weekend for Cate’s baptism. It felt really good, really right to be back in that space. I realized that I miss worshipping. I miss the hour I have to clear my mind and recharge. I need to get back in church. It’s important to me and I have decided it’s time. So, I vow this weekend, I will take a child (probably Cate) and go. I would like to take Brady. He didn’t really sit still at Cate’s baptism but I realized it’s because we have not taken him to church, taught him how to act in that setting or space. Maybe I will try both once I master taking Cate.

Happy Hump Day Friends! Do you have any tidbits you would like to share?

2012- My Thoughts

2012-01-05T08:11:00.002-06:00

Well, hello 2012!
As I am writing this evening with both babies in bed and in my quiet house, I realize I have spent a lot of time in my head thinking about 2011. I realize how sometimes the things I have said to my husband don't actually reflect how I feel. There are moments when frustration sets in and I speak tersely to him about my fatigue, stress, or complaints. Yet, when I am alone, quiet and reflecting I can't get over how lucky we have been, how complete I feel and how many things feel so "right".

Like Buzz in Cate's crib. Any ideas who idea that was? I will give you one guess.

This kid. Who is fiercely independent, funny, and sweet.

And now, in 2012 I am thinking about all the things I want to happen this year. I hate resolutions. I actually hate change if I am being perfectly honest. But, sometimes change is good. It can be necessary to make you better. This year, I tried to come up with a word. A word to live by. Two words. Three. It didn't work. So, I am focusing on goals.

Goal 1- I need to find the ability to balance both my personal and professional life, not necessarily equal but both having weight on the scale of life.

Goal 2- Find time to spend with my husband, my friends, and my family. It is so easy to be with in the same room as some one and call it spending time together but I need to be present. I want listen more, put my ipad away, and be the one to initiate plans. I want to MAKE time for each of them. No more "I'm so busy" responses. Tired might be an acceptable excuse. Just kidding. Both are easy ways out.

Goal 3- When I am with my kids I want to be present. So often when Brady says, "play mama" I go down to the basement with him taking my phone, distractedly trying to play with him while I check email, facebook or twitter. No more. Nightly, when I feed Cate, I find myself thinking about work or actually checking my phone for email. No more. I want to be present. I want to watch her drink that bottle and watch her eyes slowly close as she releases her grip on my finger. I want my kids to remember that they were my priority. Not my Words with Friends game, not twitter or the email on my screen.

Does it get any better than a baby in the bath?

Goal 4- Me. I want to find time that reminds me that I matter too. Exercise is my refuge. The gym is my sacred place. My happy place. I am a different person when I get a workout in. I need to sweat, to move and burn that energy. I am a better mama when I workout. I am a better wife. I immerse myself in to it when I need to clear my head, when I am tired or need a break. I have to fit this in. I am also a realist. It can't happen every day but I am committed to finding a balance between doing this for me and being a mama and wife.

Goal 5- I want to accept that sometimes it's okay to share responsibilities. The notion that needing a night off or a night out does not make me less of a mama. I need to recognize that my husband needs a night off too!

Goal 6- I want to find a balance between my responsibilities as a teacher, mama and wife along with things that I have a desire to learn. This little space, my DSLR, and Photoshop are all on the list and I have a plan to get moving. A switch to Wordpress, an online Photoshop class, free tutorials and Project 52 will be on the to do list. I will continue to write. I will write for me. I write because it is therapeutic. And I will write when I have something to say or worth talking about.

Goal 7- Purge. Do you hear that Ma? Glenn? Are you listening? I am purging and will stop hoarding and saving every last thing. Less is going to be more for me this year. No, it doesn't mean I will shop less, but I am going to finally get rid of those things I keep hanging on to that I might need or wear five years from now. Hopefully, this will eliminate some clutter and make my husband happier!

Goal 8-I need to change hats with ease. 5 am alarms, commuting, daycare drop off and pick up, and nighttime routines can break you down. I am going to try to embrace the chaos.

Goal 9- I am going to live in the moment. Be present. Nothing is so important that I can't stop for ten minutes and play with the Little People cars in our family room and make Brady squeal in delight as they go down the ramps we build or lay on the floor with Cate as she swats at her animals on her activity mat.

As I read, and reread this list, it is hefty. Big ideas. Big changes. I know that I will have some successes and probably some failures. But that is what goals are all about? Right?

Cate- Four Months

2011-12-28T15:09:00.012-06:00

"The time with your second kid will fly by. You won't remember milestones like you did with your first. You are going to be to busy and before you know it she will be sitting up, eating solids, crawling and walking".

From the moment I heard this, I vowed to not let it happen. I vowed to take note. I vowed to live in the present. I vowed to remember small things. Inconsequential things. Four months later, I still am.

Like how happy you are in the morning when your sleep sack comes off, we place you on your changing table and daddy gives you kisses as he gets you dressed for the day.

Or how your eyes track your brother as he runs circles around you after we get home from school.

Or the way you contently lay in the bathtub as your brother douses you with water each night not crying or fussing- just letting him do it. He's in this "I Do" phase and you let him do. I am grateful you are content to be warm in the tub and get some attention even if water is sloshing in your eyes off his rag.

Or the way you melt in to me as we dance and sing while we wait for your last bottle to warm, and the medicine to work.

And the grip you have on my fingers as your drink your night time bottle.

Or the smile you give when someone when they are willing to really work for it.

And the way you stick your tongue out as you suck on your hands. Those hands that are so tiny, so cold and always near your mouth.

And the bubbles you blow all day long.

Like the little hairs that are growing longer right on the top of your head while the back falls out.

Like the tiny rolls that have formed on your thighs and ankles while your legs continue to sprout.

Or the middle of the night cries that wake me letting me know you have woken yourself up or you are hungry.

And the way you roll to your side to sleep with hands by your face.

Or the way you kick your legs, arch your back and will yourself to roll over but just can't get there yet.

Happy 4 Months Baby Cate!

2011- My Favorite Posts and Reflection

2011-12-27T19:39:00.010-06:00

I started this huge post going thru month by month highlighting what was happening in our lives and I realized that a) it was a lot of work and b) if you read this blog regularly then you don't want to read them all again. Most of the things in our year were normal, typical and nothing extraordinary. But we did have some highs and some lows.

2011 has been a year full of joy, frustrations, happiness, tears, change and even a cast. Some of the days in the past year have drug on but the year has really flown by. If I am being honest, while my eyes are tired and my brain is swirling with "to dos" I want to just stop. Pause. Reflect. And remember all that has happened this year. As I sit here and type, I can't help but remember that this time last year, I did not even know that our sweet Cate would be entering the world.

When I look back at those posts in the early weeks of her life, I am catch myself staring at her face. I start to think about how much she has already changed. How much bigger she is. And I am willing myself to remember. To remember her. In all her newborn goodness.

My favorite post, the one that still brings tears to my eyes, is here. His first days of daycare after being with a nanny for 18 months. A while it pains me to read it and remember, I am inspired when I see how far he has come.

Every time I write to him, my eyes well with tears. Maybe it's because when I go back to read what I wrote I am instantly transported to that moment in time.

As we close out 2011, I thankful for the year that has passed and the hopeful for the things to come in 2012. Happy New Years Friends!

Right Now...

2011-12-20T14:05:00.002-06:00

I stole this idea from someone on the internet and I have seen a lot of other bloggers doing it.

right now i am…

watching: nothing because I am sitting in a Starbucks blogging, reading and writing before I get my haircut. Honestly, tv is not my choice of entertainment 99% of the time.

eating: Nothing. Right before this I just had my first Jersey Mike’s experience and I have to tell you…it was pretty darn good. My brother just might know what he is talking about. Have you been?

drinking: A grande caramel salted hot chocolate with skim milk and no whip cream. The perfect afternoon pick me up since I did not have my chai this morning. I am also drinking water. I am still pumping/nursing and I am constantly thirsty.

wearing: Lululemon Black Still Pants, my favorite Patagonia fleece, my North Face coat and a workout tshirt, Brooks running shoes and the other essentials.

avoiding: getting ready to put our house on the market. With two kids it’s no secret we acquire a lot of crap. Given my hoarding personality, I have a really hard time throwing things away, packing things up and simplifying life. I am determined after Christmas to tackle some of this stuff.

feeling: pretty good right now. I have done yoga the past two mornings. Yesterday it was hot yoga and this morning it was yoga sculpt and it felt good to sweat. I am almost finished Christmas shopping, had a dinner date with my husband last night and had a breakfast date with Brady this morning. All of that is good stuff and rejuvenates me.

missing: the ability to regularly workout. The past two days I have felt the stress leaving my body as I have sweat and spent an hour focusing on my body. It is such a part of me and I crave it. But until my sweet Cate decides to start sleeping with more regularity, the evenings become easier, and I am not commuting both ways with the kids I don’t see this happening.

thankful: for all that we have. I sometimes struggle with complaining and being a “glass half empty” person but really I have little to complain about. I have a husband with a successful business who I am still crazy about even though our life is CHAOS right now, two healthy, beautiful kids and a job I love.

weather: interesting. It was supposed to sleet/snow/rain today but it is remarkably in the 40’s and it has just started to sprinkle. Thinking a white Christmas is just not in the cards this year.

praying: for brooke. This mama has been through so much and our babies were supposed to be born days apart and she needs a break.

needing: to see my mama (2 days). We don’t go very often without seeing each other, skype frequently but lately I am just missing her. I need her chats, her reality checks and the help with simple things like cleaning out closets.

thinking: how much I need this space. I don’t write for anyone else. I write because it is therapeutic. There are tons of other things I should be doing but this is what I choose to do because it keeps me sane. I am constantly amazed at the people who I have connected with, re-connected with, or met because of this little blog.

loving: the red cups from Starbucks, Christmas music on the 93.9, my Lululemon pants, smiles from my sweet Cate, my riding boots, cozy sweaters, questions from my curious 2 year old, hot showers on cold mornings, my new ipad and the app store, middle of the night cries from Cate (when it is not the fourth time in six hours), the first snowflakes that blanketed the ground last week and the hustle and bustle of this time of the year.

and you? what are you up to?

ALL DONE- Brady

2011-12-14T12:39:00.003-06:00

Some things I don’t blog about. I don’t blog about them because I worry that I am exposing too much of “us” on the internet. I also worry that I will sound like I am whining when there are plenty of parents out there who are watching their babies fight for their lives and our challenges seem small. But, I want to write about something in case anyone else has our experience and it involves talking.

When Brady turned one, we asked our pediatrician if she was concerned that Brady was not talking. She wasn’t so we weren’t either.

Glenn and I talked about it all the time. "Should he be talking more?" "Are you worried he is not talking very much?" "Do you think something is wrong?"

At his 18-month well visit, we asked again. She was concerned but not overly. She said we would keep an eye on it and discuss our options when he turned two. We were concerned. He had just started daycare and all he could say was “Dall Done”.

Other kids had vocabularies that far exceeded his. Other kids were putting two words together. Other kids were communicating their needs at daycare. Other kids were able to defend themselves at daycare using words. Brady could do NONE of these things. He got it. He was smart. He understood. But he just wouldn’t talk. No words. He was frustrated. He was getting bit. And we were worried.

Over the summer I had him evaluated by Early Intervention.

In my head, I believed my ma. She told me that some kids just take longer to talk. Brady would have a “light switch” moment and his vocabulary would explode. I believed her. But, I still had him evaluated in July because I was anxious about another baby, him not talking and possibly regressing even further into complete silence.

Cognitively, he was functioning at 30 months. He was only 21 months.

Verbally, he was functioning at 12 months. He was 21 months.

He qualified.

My heart sank. Did we do something wrong? Was it because he was with a nanny from age one to one and half by himself all day? Could we have done more? What if didn’t talk?

I won’t bore you with the details but I will tell you that EI, thru the state of Illinois, was more expensive than private speech therapy. So, we began private speech therapy in August. One hour per week.

He hated it. He was stubborn. He refused to engage some days. He had therapy in our home. He was having therapy at the end of a long day that involved daycare and commuting. He was talking a bit more but neither Glenn nor I were convinced it was result of speech therapy. We weren’t sure what to do after 3 months.

He was getting bit at daycare repeatedly by the same kid. Daycare was convinced if he could be more verbal and defend himself with words, he wouldn’t be bitten anymore. We were frustrated. We wanted him to talk more. We needed him to talk more. We needed the tantrums to stop. We needed him to tell us what he needed. We needed him to be able to talk to his teachers at school.

I wondered if we should stop given the amount of change that had occurred in our house. Was it causing more harm than good? Should we move the therapy up to daycare? Should we stick with it? I thought about it all the time.

I headed to Bloomington for a week while I was off on maternity leave before Thanksgiving. We got there and my mom asked Brady who was in the car seat next to him and he instantly responded “Cate”. I wasn’t sure if I heard him right. But I did. He said her name. For the first time. The next seven days his vocabulary exploded. He said new words each day. It didn't stop. He has continued to say new words daily. He says anything we say. He will try to say anything we ask him to. The light switch turned on.

I decided that I was going to move his speech therapy during the day at daycare. He was talking so much more but I just knew that after school in the middle of the week wasn’t working. It was going to cost us dramatically more, but I felt like it would be easier on him. He had to be re-evaluated if we were going to use EI at his daycare. They were here on Thursday.

Cognitively, he is functioning at 42 months. He is only 26 months.

Verbally, he is functioning at 25 months. He is 26 months.

He is “ALL DONE”. He does not qualify for speech services.

My gut all along told me that he would be fine. He would talk. He was just a late talker because he was so interested in doing. My mind told me as his mother I needed to do whatever necessary to get him talking. Have him evaluated. Get him therapy.

I don’t think he needed speech therapy. I don’t think it’s the reason he talks now. He’s busy. He’s a late bloomer. He is curious, funny and sweet.

He took his time. He’s all done and we are ready to move on.

Cate- Three Months and Better Together

2011-12-07T12:44:00.007-06:00

Oh baby girl, where do I start? You are three months old. Three whole months have passed since you blessed your dad, brother and I by entering this world. Things are changing so fast and I just want to remember all of it. You have made us better. You have made me better.

I believe in memories because they look so, So pretty when I sleep And when I wake up you look so pretty sleeping next to me

As, I sneak out of bed at 5am to start our morning, I catch myself standing over the bed to take one more look at you before I pump. I listen to those quiet sighs, the meeps and peeps that will shortly end and I smile. We are finding our groove and you are a great second kid. You are content, you are portable and adaptable. Even as you are currently, sick with daycare germs, you are taking it in stride.

But there is not enough time

Our days are consumed with commuting, daycare, schedules, baths, bottles and routines. But, it is okay. It's okay because I enjoyed you. I didn't do that with your brother. I was crippled with worry, anxiety and fears when I was home with Brady about what it would be like when I went back. And while those emotions still consume me, I spent the last few weeks of my maternity leave soaking you up. Your sporadic smiles, the coos that you made, the face of contentment when you are placed in the bath and the hold you have on my shoulder when I carry you. I enjoyed you and I know that you are happy.

And there is no, no song I could sing And there is no combination of words I could say

I don't think there is a space, a place, or venue where I could adequately put in to words my love for you. Trying to define my love for you, or your brother or your dad is impossible because it is raw, real and bigger than life.

But I will still tell you one thing We're better together We so much better when we're together We so much better when we're together

You learned how to smile.
You love your activity mat.
Your changing table is a happy place for all of us.
You still get up once a night.
You go to bed at 6 and we wake you at 6.
You are changing before our eyes.
And the kid next to you, is completely in love with you.

Happy 3 Months Baby Girl!

5 Things I Believe

2011-12-01T14:21:00.006-06:00

5 Things I Believe

I believe that I am better mom working even if I am barely treading water.

My head is currently bobbing up and down in a current of water that seems at times to be so fierce that there have been moments this week when I am ready to concede and drown and at other times is so calm and normal that I feel like I am floating. My eyes begging to close as the salt of stress and fatigue wears on me. One week back in the grind of an ocean I call life. Learning how to balance and stay afloat in water is so hard to do, but once you master it, you don’t forget it. We are finding a groove, a routine, how to float. Juggling dinner, bottles, baths, dishes, preparations for the next day and babies.

I believe that it is quality of the time that you spend with your kids that counts, not the quantity.

I sink into our glider, I watch Cate as her eyes meet mine and her hand grips my finger tightly and fiercely. I find myself quickly seeking the steady rocking motion that calms her knowing it calms me too. I feel my shoulders loosen and allow myself to focus on her. Only her as she flits her eyes eventually sleeping soundly as I rock.

I turn on our Christmas station in our kitchen and pick Brady up. I dance with him and sing the lyrics loudly. Spinning him around until he squeals in delight, hugging him close to me so I can absorb his energy, his curiosity and pure delight in simple things. He asks for more and I oblige so we can enjoy this moment.

I believe that when parents work together, life is simpler.

I instinctively get Brady’s pajamas out and his clothes for the next day. Glenn gets Cate’s bottle warm without having to be asked as the medicine is dispensed in her mouth. One misstep and the baby is screaming, a the 2 year old is begging to wear “Buzz” for the third time in one week. But we force each other to stay afloat. Not allowing each other to sink, supporting each other “by taking one for the team”. He eats with Brady, takes his second shower of the day with Brady to not disturb Cate, and doesn’t question me at 8:30 when I head to bed. We may not communicate out loud frequently or have stimulating conversations, but this week we are closer than we have every been. We know each other’s eyes. We each have our jobs. I make bottles, Glenn puts Brady to bed. We collapse on the couch at the end of the night. Our eyes tired, our backs sore and ready for bed. Yet, we gear up to do it all again because we are trying to stay afloat.

I believe that watching my children interact are moments that will always bring tears to my eyes.

Cate was fussing on Sunday night as I was trying to get dinner on the table. I just needed BOTH hands for three minutes and she was crying in her chair. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as Brady sauntered in the room with something he painted earlier that day. “Bop (Stop in toddler speak) Bop Cate. Bop cry Cate. Bear. Here.”He throws the picture at her and begins to tickle her toes.

I walk in to Young Preschool room at daycare and we got through the motions. Coat and hat on and then say our goodbyes. We walk out to where Cate’s car seat is and he pulls down the cover. “Hi Cate” as he bends down and rubs her head. Pushing her stroller out of daycare with a protectiveness and sense of pride that I can't explain.

Cate was on her activity mat last weekend. She was contently staring at things but eventually wanted to be picked up. I was in the office sifting through the mail. I watch him. One car. Then the second. Then a third. He gave her every car he was playing with and then laid his head next to hers.

I believe that my family is what makes life worth living.

Linking up with Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop